At the beginning of the 2020 lockdown, I was watching the news closely while I locked myself in my room. I slowly found myself only thinking about the worst of the situations. Fear took over instead of faith. I was reluctant to leave my house at that point. I had even turned down all invitations to church and hangouts. I continued to feed the fire of fear as I stayed at home, watching the news.

However, at one point, I realised I could not remain like this. Interacting with people with the same vision and faith and hearing the message on moving forward, I learned that to move forward, also means to confront my fears. It means I must confront the uncertainty of my future in God’s hands.

One of the key changes I had committed to lead myself out of fear was to feed myself with things of God. The more I read, the more I could reflect and had better awareness of myself from God’s perspective. I also intentionally sought out people who could carry meaningful conversations to help build up my perspectives.

This year, my Homes Leaders were surprised that I was the first to say yes to coming to church to serve in Acts Sound. I believe God is leading me into a season of bold faith – a season of being okay while not knowing what’s next.

在2020年封城初期，我一边把自己锁在房间里，一边仔细地观看那些消息。我慢慢地发现自己只去想最糟糕的情况。恐惧占据了我的心，信心似乎消失了。在那个时刻，我完全不想踏出家门一步。我甚至拒绝了所有去教会和朋友聚集的邀请。当我呆在家里看着这些新闻时，我继续煽动恐惧之火。

然而，到了一个点，我醒悟发觉自己不能再这样下去了。当我跟拥有同样异象和信仰的人一起互动时，以及听见了往前走的信息，我学到如果我要继续往前走的话，我就必须面对自己的恐惧。这也代表我必须正视那不确定的未来，并把它安放于神的恩手当中。

当我决心要摆脱恐惧时，其中一个关键性的改变就是用属神的事物来喂养自己。我读得越多，我反思的就越多，也越能从神的角度来认识自己。我也刻意地去寻找那些能够跟我有深度交流的人来对话，以帮助我建立正确的观点。

今年，我的 Homes 领袖们也感到惊讶，因为我是那第一个答应来教会服事 Acts 音响的人。我相信神正引导我进入一个活出刚强信心的季节 – 尽管不知知道接下来会发生什么事情，但仍然能活得很好的季节。

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